WEDDING WEEKEND

My friend’s wedding is this weekend.  I’m looking forward to it.  Its my first Italian wedding.  I was thinking about that this week, about 90% of the weddings I’ve gone to in my lifetime have been of the Chinese banquet variety.  I think I’ve only gone to three weddings that weren’t.  That was a bit shocking to me because my closest friends aren’t all Asian.

Anyways, I’m the chauffeur of choice to take my friend to the church.  So, I’m borrowing my mom’s car, which is a hell of a lot nicer than my own car.  I like my little clunker, but I don’t think she’s got much left in her.  Plus, my friend seemed a bit relieved when I said I’d use my mom’s car since she’s going away this weekend for a week in California.  I think the relief was partly cause my car’s not the greatest, but also because she wasn’t sure her whole dress would fit in my little car.  Too funny.  Her dress is gorgeous though and not at all too much.  Simple…exactly how weddings should be, in my opinion.

Speaking of dresses, hell, it was rough trying to find something to wear to this wedding.  I had an outfit for the wedding ceremony, but needed something for the evening.  I don’t like shopping, so that was the first hurdle to get through and then sorting through all the crappy things out there to find something decent was not an easy task.  And, there was a lot of crap out there.  I’m not super fussy about my clothes, I mean I’m super casual (maybe that’s the problem?) but seriously, everything I saw was yucky.  But, I finally found something (to my relief) late last week and picked it up a few days ago.  Its just a dressy top for the evening, I had to admit defeat and forget about wearing a one piece and just do the two piece.  I think I’ll be more comfortable anyways.  So, I’m set for the wedding and the reception.  I like wearing two different outfits, its the Asian wedding influence on me.

My friend is very happy and I’m very happy for her.  She found someone when she least expected to.  That’s the best part about it, when she didn’t think she’d find someone, there he was.

BRIDEZILLA

One of my close friends is getting married this year.  I’m really happy for her. 

So, on the weekend, the future bride, my friend and I went up to Barrie to visit our friends.  We were gathered in the living room of my friend’s cousin’s place and we started to talk about the wedding.  There was five of us, and one of our Barrie friends was giving the gears to my friend about her wedding.  My friend has very specific ideas of how she wants her wedding.  And, so she should, its her wedding, she can run around buck naked, karaoke her heart out all night or whatever she wants, its her day and she’ll have it the way she wants, you know?  I don’t have any right to tell her how her wedding should be and neither does anyone else to be honest.

Well, the future bride was getting annoyed by our friends insistence that she do things a certain way for her wedding.  The tone was “you have to!!!!”.  Then my friends cousin got into it, telling the future bride that she should have a tiara of some sort as her head piece.  It was getting rather dicey and I remained quiet for most of it, but when I saw how annoyed my friend was becoming, I came to her defense, as did my other friend, and we both told the two crazy women to take it down a notch. 

And, this is why if I ever get married I’m eloping, having it at city hall or having it at an exotic location where it’ll be a super small wedding party.  I mean, its annoying enough when you’re told what to do in general, but to be told how to conduct your wedding?  Beyond annoying.  I saw what my own brother went through to get married, no thanks.  The less drama, the better.

My poor friend, if she isn’t a bridezilla now, she’ll turn into one just to shut these people up.

UNHARMONIOUS

So, speaking about love and relationships, I’m on a roll now, I had another conversation with a different friend over the weekend about men.  It was like the weekend of relationship talk.

I don’t even know how we got into it because we weren’t even talking about men, but she just blurted out to me that she had tried E-Harmony.  I was really surprised, I looked at her and was like “what?”.  She had tried another dating site before E-Harmony and did not like it at all, that’s why I was so surprised that she tried internet dating again.  And, E-Harmony is not cheap, so I was doubly surprised – because according to my friend, the system is worthless unless you pay for it, so she caved and paid.

I don’t think she knew much about the site before she signed on.  All I know about the site is that it’s expensive, they have mushy commercials and a friend of mine who used it didn’t have much success.  I’ve never done the E-Harmony process myself, guided romance just doesn’t appeal to me. 

Anyways, she was telling me how annoying it was to go through this whole questionnaire process to sign-up and how the matches come to you.  You don’t choose, they choose for you based on your answers to the questionnaire and their patented technology.  And then she was telling me how stupid it was when guys closed the matches.  When they do that it’s basically “see ya later alligator, not interested” and you don’t get matched to them again.  You can appeal, but that seems a bit weird, and desperate, to me.

So, she’s met a couple of guys, but it hasn’t been what she thought (she’s no longer using it).  And, for her it felt strange to go through this whole process just to have contact with them.  Its not immediate, you have to go through this song and dance before you have direct contact.  Instant gratification is not how you would describe E-Harmony. 

The whole process seems weird to me.  Not harmonious if you ask me.  But, I applaud her for taking the plunge to do something proactive.  And, she’s still in contact with at least one guy, so who knows what will happen.  But, she won’t be participating in those mushy commercials for E-Harmony anytime soon.

OLD MEMORIES

Tacky Memories of Florida

I was talking with my friend on the weekend and we got into a conversation about relationships.  In particular, we started to talk about my ex which brought back a lot of old memories.  I try not to talk about him much because he’s in the past.  He is probably my most serious relationship so far and my most complicated. 

Anyways, she brought up something I had told her about way back when of how I got mad at him for doing something and I started to laugh because I couldn’t remember it.  It would totally not bother me now, because I’d probably do the same thing he did.  Its interesting how much you change over the years.

A lot of the things I wouldn’t let go back then are things I would totally let go now.  You start realizing, with maturity, what’s important and what’s not important in maintaining a good relationship. 

I was telling her a story of how I got a bit tipsy once, when I was still living in Vancouver, and my ex (who was visiting me at the time) and I were having this huge fight on the street that had carried on after we had left this restaurant.  I laugh at it now, but at the time I was furious with him (ask me if I remember why, cause I can’t now!) and being a bit tipsy, as I was arguing I fell right into the sidewalk, and I remember distinctly how he ran to me to grab me but I pushed him away.  I also remember him saying to me, furious “I hate it when you ignore me”.  And I was thinking “dude, I just fell, I’m a bit embarassed, give a girl some space” plus I was tipsy, who can give absolute attention when they’re trying their hardest not to fall flat on their face?  

It just makes me laugh now how I was back then.  He wanted to see me all the time and I was okay seeing him when I could.  I loved him passionately, but I wasn’t as needy as he was.  I don’t think I was ready for him, too damn intense.  My friend agreed, I’m a totally different person now.  What use to be scary for me, is no longer, you can’t live your life scared - life is about taking risks, not sitting on the sidelines.

It’s funny how you look back at your youth and realize all the dumb things you did.  That’s not to say I won’t do stupid ass things now, but I know what I want now and I’m a lot more wiser.  Oh, and I totally would not face plant on the sidewalk again.  It’s not my most stellar moment, folks. 

DATING

I had a fun last night.  I went out with two girls from work.  In the span of 1 month I’ve made some new friends.  Well, one of the girls no longer works there, she quit a week after I started, but its nice that we’re keeping in touch.

We went to St. Louis’ Bar at Yonge and Finch for wings, and they are pretty good I gotta say and I’m a picky wing eater.  Anyways, we were yapping and gossiping about everyone at work, as one does when you’re with other co-workers.  Suddenly, the girl who no longer works there says “I need to find a man”.  Me and the other girl burst out laughing.  I looked at her and go “okay, let’s start with what you’re looking for”.  So, she stated what she wanted and how hard it is to find men. 

Then she revealed to us that she had joined this dating site.  I commended her for taking the steps to get proactive about her love life.  If there is one thing I can’t stand is someone bitching about the state of their love life but doing absolutely nothing about it.  Drives me insane.  I mean come on, you are not going to meet anyone by doing absolutely nothing.  The perfect mate is not going to fall into your lap from the sky. 

So, me and this other girl discussed her options with the men we knew, but it wasn’t very prosperous.  It was actually quite sad.  The men I knew were too short for her (she’s very tall) and the men the other girl knew were too young.  We started suggesting different ways to meet people, other than the dating site, that she can try.  She said she would think about it.  And then we decided that we would have a girls night out.  I cracked them up by saying “oh my, I’m gonna have to have a nap before we go out and it can’t be on a work night!”.  Yeah, I’m not the firecracker I was in my twenties. 

The dating world is tough.  I totally get it.  What I don’t get is how this girl can still be single, she’s beautiful, ambitious, intelligent and kind and yet no one’s snatched her up.  Makes me wonder.