THAT MUCH CLOSER

This dessert was one of my favourite parts of my visit to the CNE…almost a month ago!!!  Where did September go?  Its been a crazy month, I’ve been sick for the last of it.  And, not just with a cold.  I had another bout with food poisoning, or maybe it was the stomach flu, on Friday.  It was not pretty and I will not go into descriptive detail, to spare you all, but it was rough. 

The terrible thing about being so ill on Friday is that my friend had planned a belated surprise for my birthday that night.  I had an idea of what it was, a spa treatment, but wasn’t sure exactly what.  Anyways, I left work pretty much a  hour after I went in (half of that hour was spent in the bathroom), there was no way I could have made it through the day, and slept when I got home.  I wasn’t sure I would be able to make it to my friend’s surprise and I felt so bad because I knew she would be dinged for the appointment.  Thankfully, I felt better by the late afternoon and decided to go.  I was feeling pretty frail, I had not eaten all day, and didn’t realize how frail I looked until my friend pointed out how pale I was when she saw me.  She had never seen me like that before and I had never seen myself like that either.  But, I guess when you’ve emptied your stomach numerous times, it shows.  After a lovely facial though, I got my colour back.

Anyways, September was not as productive as I wanted it to be.  I’m not behind, but I’m not as ahead as I’d like to be in the goals I’ve set.  I have to repair this leak in my master bathroom.  Its been leaking for a while (I hate to confess how long cause then you’ll all know how lazy I am) from the suite above me (thankfully into my bathtub), but I just haven’t put in a maintenance request to get it fixed.  If I want to sell my place, I need to get it fixed.  Moving is a pain in the ass, but now that I’m finally that much closer to what I really want to do, it’s worth all the inconvenience.

If  l learned from anything that’s happened this year, doing and thinking are two very different things and I’d rather be inconvenienced and doing something than just thinking about it.

GETTING ON TRACK

I can’t believe how fast time has flown by.  The summer is almost over and fall weather will be setting in soon…hopefully not too soon even though I love the fall.

I know the summer is coming to a close when the CNE is on.  And, like last year I’ll be going again this year.  If it weren’t for my nephews, I don’t think I would be going at all.  But, I know I’ll have fun….eating my way around the Ex, buying useless things (hopefully not too many of them this year).  And, losing to all the games along the way.  My favourite game at the Ex is the Fishing Game where you have this fishing rod with a magnet at the end and you put it into the water attempting to gather as many chips as possible that will reveal the prize you get.  My other favourite game is hitting the gophers back into their hole…great way to take out your aggression, beating the crap out of gopher heads.  Ahhhh…good times.

The past few months have been a roller coaster for me.  I’m only now getting more focused on where I need to be.  My condo should be ready to be put on the market in a few months.  I still have some work I need to do, i.e. cleaning, and the garbage strike of 6 weeks was no help.  Moving is stressful, for me at least.  And, this time I refuse to be rushed – the last time I moved, across the country, it was not pretty.  And, I only had 2 months to get it together – meaning, sell my place, pack everything and move.  Its not something I want to repeat.

Anyways, I’m looking forward to the weekend and enjoying some time with my nephews.  Even though most of the summer has been crazy, I’m starting to feel more focused and determined.

FAMILY VISIT

Life has been busy.

Any down time is a rarity these days.  Those quiet moments that I try to do at night?  Non-existent because I’m so exhausted at night that I curl up in my bed and fall asleep, screw the cleansing and calming of my mind.  For now.

I think that’s why I’ve been writing less, and I’m not talking about this blog, I’m talking about my journal writing.  I’ve been missing it, yet cannot compel myself to put pen to paper.  My mind is just not focused right now.  And, I have a lot of things I need to sort out.  I need to get focused.  Soon.

I am looking forward to next week.  I have some random days off, meaning I have a couple of days off during the week but not in a row.  My cousin and her husband are driving up from South Carolina so I want to spend a day with her.  I originally was thinking of visiting her during the Civic day long weekend, funny enough, and I had a few other places that I was contemplating, but after some thinking (damn the thinking) decided to delay it.

My cousin comes into town every few years.  Generally, she comes to stuff her face with as much Chinese food as she can without exploding.  She also shops till she drops, stuffing her car with as many Asian delicacies as is possible to pack into her vehicle.  Its quite hilarious to watch.  I remember one year she came, I think it was about 15 years ago or so when Chinese food was rare in the South and she had packed her car with so much crap it was overflowing.  She even used “secret” compartments in the van she was driving at the time to hide her food from the Customs officer. She owns a Chinese restaurant so she buys the stuff half for the restaurant and half for herself.

It’ll be good to see her.  My nephews are excited to see her too, both for the first time, so I know there will be funny moments.  It should be lots of fun, and I need this break from the norm (i.e. craziness) right now, so its a welcome change.

UNPLEASANT THINGS IN LIFE

Confronting the enemy is always unpleasant.  But, when you have to confront a child molester, it is the hardest thing I will ever do in my life.  Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.  It is the most unpleasant thing I’ll probably ever have to do in my life.

So, my friend’s bastard soon to be ex-husband is out of jail.  I wish he had rotted in there, but that’s not how the justice system works unfortunately.  In fact, I believe he got out for good behaviour…how fucking ironic.  And, now, he’s requested to see his two sons.  So, my friend told her boys and the oldest boy was hesitant, but I believe he is going because the youngest son wants to see his father.  Therefore, there needs to be someone there to supervise the visit and my friend has not been able to get her shit together to contact Children’s Aid and get them involved, which they should be.  That’s another bone of contention amongst all the friends, a lack of initiative by our friend to get things going and making sure she’s got herself covered.

My other friend asked me if I would do a shift of supervising for one of the visits and I said I would.  Then I suggested we should do a shift together, since she had agreed but as she doesn’t have a car and can’t drive up north she told our friend it would be as a last resort.  I figured if the two of us were together, at least one of us will be rational enough to stop the other from beating this bastard for destroying his family.  I am not a violent person, but this whole situation just makes my blood boil.  I just feel so….I can’t even begin to describe it.

I am not looking forward to supervising these visits, and I wish I didn’t have to see the asshole, but for the sake of the children, I’m doing it.  No other reason.  Such is life. 

BLOGGING

I’ve been blogging for a long time.  I was thinking about this last week.  I started blogging on Xanga back in 2003.  I don’t remember how I found the site.  But, I do remember why I started blogging.  Blogging has always been a great outlet for me to express how I feel.  Lately though, its been harder for me to blog because everything I’m going through right now is too personal to blog about in such a public forum.

I’ve met some very interesting and nice people from blogging.  Some I keep in contact with, some I’ve lost touch with and some I will probably never speak to again.  I got to thinking about all this because I still log into my Xanga account periodically to see if the people I use to read on a daily basis still write.  One or two of them still do but the majority of them have stopped blogging.  But, the last time I logged in I got a message from one of my favourite reads from back then.  He started a new blog and wanted to let me know his new website address.

I was glad to know he was still blogging, as he had stopped for awhile, because I always enjoyed reading his old blog.  He has this great writing style and no spelling mistakes, my biggest pet peeve.  When I met up with him a few years ago when I was still living in Vancouver and he was living in Seattle, I could understand why I liked his blog.  He was warm (he gave me a big hug when we met!), very intelligent, funny guy with a serious streak who was really thoughtful.  I think that’s why I liked his blogging, his personality was brought out in his writing style.  A lot of people don’t write the way they talk or convey their true selves in their blogging, but he was not one of them.

Anyways, his current blog is the same way.  Warm, funny and interspersed with video’s and great music picks.  I don’t read a lot of blogs, because who has the time, but his will be one that I try to read as regularly as I can.