When a friendship changes dramatically, its hard. Especially if you’ve depended on this person alot.
When I was 11 or 12, my best friend and I were super close, we called each other everyday. This continued until about university. Our friendship started to crumble and a few years after university and many attempts to keep the friendship going, we decided to just end it. It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but the best thing at the time, too much had happened. We stopped talking for over 5 years. I’m happy to report, though, that we are friends again, not as close (it will never be the same), but at least we’re in each others lives.
So, my friend was unloading on me last night. She’s having a hard time adjusting to my friends new relationship status. Our friend has been dating this guy for 5 months and they got engaged after only 4 months. So, all the friends haven’t even had time to get to know this guy. I only met him for the first time this weekend! Everything about this guy is the opposite of what I thought my friend would end up with, but I’m happy for her nonetheless cause what’s important is that this guy treats her well and she’s happy.
My friend sees it the same way but its been a huge change for her. They did everything together (some people actually thought they were “together” if you know what I mean) and depended on each other heavily and now she has to share her. So, she’s trying her hardest to get to know this guy and to adjust to the change in their friendship. I feel for her because she’s never been very independent so this is a big adjustment for her.
For me, I learned from my past. I value my friendships, but I try not to depend on my friends. That’s not to say I can’t depend on my friends, I know that they’ll be there for me when I really need them. But, being independent is important to me. I’ve learned to do a lot on my own and that has made me stronger in the process.
My friend has learned a hard lesson. She realizes that she needs to be more independent, give the new guy more of a chance and accept the fact that change happens, even if its a pain in the ass. 😐