Category Archives: Love

WEDDING WEEKEND

WeddingRingMy friend’s wedding is this weekend.  I’m looking forward to it.  Its my first Italian wedding.  I was thinking about that this week, about 90% of the weddings I’ve gone to in my lifetime have been of the Chinese banquet variety.  I think I’ve only gone to three weddings that weren’t.  That was a bit shocking to me because my closest friends aren’t all Asian.

Anyways, I’m the chauffeur of choice to take my friend to the church.  So, I’m borrowing my mom’s car, which is a hell of a lot nicer than my own car.  I like my little clunker, but I don’t think she’s got much left in her.  Plus, my friend seemed a bit relieved when I said I’d use my mom’s car since she’s going away this weekend for a week in California.  I think the relief was partly cause my car’s not the greatest, but also because she wasn’t sure her whole dress would fit in my little car.  Too funny.  Her dress is gorgeous though and not at all too much.  Simple…exactly how weddings should be, in my opinion.

Speaking of dresses, hell, it was rough trying to find something to wear to this wedding.  I had an outfit for the wedding ceremony, but needed something for the evening.  I don’t like shopping, so that was the first hurdle to get through and then sorting through all the crappy things out there to find something decent was not an easy task.  And, there was a lot of crap out there.  I’m not super fussy about my clothes, I mean I’m super casual (maybe that’s the problem?) but seriously, everything I saw was yucky.  But, I finally found something (to my relief) late last week and picked it up a few days ago.  Its just a dressy top for the evening, I had to admit defeat and forget about wearing a one piece and just do the two piece.  I think I’ll be more comfortable anyways.  So, I’m set for the wedding and the reception.  I like wearing two different outfits, its the Asian wedding influence on me.

My friend is very happy and I’m very happy for her.  She found someone when she least expected to.  That’s the best part about it, when she didn’t think she’d find someone, there he was.

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BRIDEZILLA

bridezilla2One of my close friends is getting married this year.  I’m really happy for her. 

So, on the weekend, the future bride, my friend and I went up to Barrie to visit our friends.  We were gathered in the living room of my friend’s cousin’s place and we started to talk about the wedding.  There was five of us, and one of our Barrie friends was giving the gears to my friend about her wedding.  My friend has very specific ideas of how she wants her wedding.  And, so she should, its her wedding, she can run around buck naked, karaoke her heart out all night or whatever she wants, its her day and she’ll have it the way she wants, you know?  I don’t have any right to tell her how her wedding should be and neither does anyone else to be honest.

Well, the future bride was getting annoyed by our friends insistence that she do things a certain way for her wedding.  The tone was “you have to!!!!”.  Then my friends cousin got into it, telling the future bride that she should have a tiara of some sort as her head piece.  It was getting rather dicey and I remained quiet for most of it, but when I saw how annoyed my friend was becoming, I came to her defense, as did my other friend, and we both told the two crazy women to take it down a notch. 

And, this is why if I ever get married I’m eloping, having it at city hall or having it at an exotic location where it’ll be a super small wedding party.  I mean, its annoying enough when you’re told what to do in general, but to be told how to conduct your wedding?  Beyond annoying.  I saw what my own brother went through to get married, no thanks.  The less drama, the better.

My poor friend, if she isn’t a bridezilla now, she’ll turn into one just to shut these people up.

UNHARMONIOUS

So, speaking about love and relationships, I’m on a roll now, I had another conversation with a different friend over the weekend about men.  It was like the weekend of relationship talk.

I don’t even know how we got into it because we weren’t even talking about men, but she just blurted out to me that she had tried E-Harmony.  I was really surprised, I looked at her and was like “what?”.  She had tried another dating site before E-Harmony and did not like it at all, that’s why I was so surprised that she tried internet dating again.  And, E-Harmony is not cheap, so I was doubly surprised – because according to my friend, the system is worthless unless you pay for it, so she caved and paid.

I don’t think she knew much about the site before she signed on.  All I know about the site is that it’s expensive, they have mushy commercials and a friend of mine who used it didn’t have much success.  I’ve never done the E-Harmony process myself, guided romance just doesn’t appeal to me. 

Anyways, she was telling me how annoying it was to go through this whole questionnaire process to sign-up and how the matches come to you.  You don’t choose, they choose for you based on your answers to the questionnaire and their patented technology.  And then she was telling me how stupid it was when guys closed the matches.  When they do that it’s basically “see ya later alligator, not interested” and you don’t get matched to them again.  You can appeal, but that seems a bit weird, and desperate, to me.

So, she’s met a couple of guys, but it hasn’t been what she thought (she’s no longer using it).  And, for her it felt strange to go through this whole process just to have contact with them.  Its not immediate, you have to go through this song and dance before you have direct contact.  Instant gratification is not how you would describe E-Harmony. 

The whole process seems weird to me.  Not harmonious if you ask me.  But, I applaud her for taking the plunge to do something proactive.  And, she’s still in contact with at least one guy, so who knows what will happen.  But, she won’t be participating in those mushy commercials for E-Harmony anytime soon.

DATING

I had a fun last night.  I went out with two girls from work.  In the span of 1 month I’ve made some new friends.  Well, one of the girls no longer works there, she quit a week after I started, but its nice that we’re keeping in touch.

We went to St. Louis’ Bar at Yonge and Finch for wings, and they are pretty good I gotta say and I’m a picky wing eater.  Anyways, we were yapping and gossiping about everyone at work, as one does when you’re with other co-workers.  Suddenly, the girl who no longer works there says “I need to find a man”.  Me and the other girl burst out laughing.  I looked at her and go “okay, let’s start with what you’re looking for”.  So, she stated what she wanted and how hard it is to find men. 

Then she revealed to us that she had joined this dating site.  I commended her for taking the steps to get proactive about her love life.  If there is one thing I can’t stand is someone bitching about the state of their love life but doing absolutely nothing about it.  Drives me insane.  I mean come on, you are not going to meet anyone by doing absolutely nothing.  The perfect mate is not going to fall into your lap from the sky. 

So, me and this other girl discussed her options with the men we knew, but it wasn’t very prosperous.  It was actually quite sad.  The men I knew were too short for her (she’s very tall) and the men the other girl knew were too young.  We started suggesting different ways to meet people, other than the dating site, that she can try.  She said she would think about it.  And then we decided that we would have a girls night out.  I cracked them up by saying “oh my, I’m gonna have to have a nap before we go out and it can’t be on a work night!”.  Yeah, I’m not the firecracker I was in my twenties.  😀

The dating world is tough.  I totally get it.  What I don’t get is how this girl can still be single, she’s beautiful, ambitious, intelligent and kind and yet no one’s snatched her up.  Makes me wonder.

THE BOYS

My nephews are pretty much the loves of my life.  I’m sappy enough to admit it.  They give me great joy, even when they’re having a tantrum.  And let me tell you, I’ve been your typical “parent” with one of them dragging at me while crying bloody murder through the mall (I have a tendency to torture myself by babysitting them by myself – I know, it’s crazy), but it’s all good cause I can return them at the end of the day.  😀

My oldest nephew is almost 4 and a half years old and I just love hearing him chatter.  He’s got this incredibly cute voice.  I was telling him the other day “don’t change your voice!” to which he responded with a cute “ok!”.  And then he proceeded to do this motion of capturing his voice in his little hand and giving it to me.  Isn’t that too damn cute?  I think so.

My youngest nephew is 2 and half years old and incredibly cute.  And, lucky thing he’s cute because he’s got a slight mean streak and quite the stubborn nature.  Although lately, according to his mom, his older brother is teasing him.  And, I actually did witness that recently.  They were fighting for a toy, which my younger nephew had first but my older nephew kept trying to take it away from him.  Finally, after a rough back and forth, my youngest nephew got up and in one huff pushed his brother away and bulldozed it over to my dad leaving his brother in the dust.  My older nephew stomped in frustration and gave a little yell, but didn’t give chase.  It was so interesting to see them fight. 

The dynamics are so different than with my brother and I, but that’s a given considering I’m female and he’s male so we never really fought over toys, but we could fight.  We had some pretty good battle royales going between us when we were younger and I use to get him into trouble all the time.  My younger nephew is me as a child and my older nephew is my brother as a child.  I’m ashamed to admit I had a bit of a mean streak as a little girl, but I quickly grew out of that.  So, I think my little nephew will be fine.

It’ll be interesting to see how these two brothers get along as they get older, their personalities are so different.  I’m looking forward to seeing them grow up. 

RELATIONSHIPS

My friend and I have been having these discussions about this mutual friend (more acquaintance to me) of ours who’s going through this hellish break-up with an ass she’s been dating for 7 years.  We’re discussing it because my friend is this mutual friend’s boss at work.  Yeah, not a good mix, hiring your friend, even if it’s not a good friend, to work with you.  It’s certainly biting her in the ass now and she regrets hiring her, especially with this drama happening now.

They went on a business trip this past week and they were trying to set her (mutual friend) up with a guy who works in the Montreal office.  Apparently, she became quite smitten with him.  When my friend and I were talking about it I asked her what his reaction was.  She told me that he basically thought she was a nice girl, was everything that was advertised about her, but he was keeping his options open.  He wasn’t keen about the distance – right, like that ever stopped a relationship from happening.  Really, what he was trying to say but didn’t was that he just wasn’t into her.

My friend thought there might be some potential.  I think she’s being a bit naive.  So, I told her honestly, there wasn’t any potential.  If he was into her, distance wouldn’t matter and he wouldn’t be keeping his options open.  Our mutual friend will have to move on and I think my friend needs to let her know that.  Or at least steer her in that direction, because it was her and this other women’s idea to set them up, so they need to bring her back to reality.  It seems harsh, but I think its worse to give her hope.

This mutual friend has already gone through relationship hell, which quite honestly is 50% her fault, but having stated that, I don’t think she should be pining away for a guy who’s not into her.  My friend needs to do the right thing and tell her to move on.   

Relationships are already complicated, if you knew the other person wasn’t into your friend, let them know, because in the end it’s better to let your friend know right off from the start so that a) you’re not tortured everyday at work with their pining and b) it’s the right thing to do.