Tag Archives: Friends

PERSPECTIVE

In a month it’ll be Christmas.  I can’t believe it’s that time already.  The malls are getting busy and the days are getting shorter.

I met with a real estate agent finally and I decided to put my place on the market after the New Year.  It just seemed like the right timing.  I’m not in the mood to have people coming to see my place during the holiday season.  It just seems so disruptive.  I have one last repair to do, which is not really a repair, and some paint touch-up (if I can just find the matching colour that would be helpful).  The hole in the ceiling of my bathroom and the leaking are a thing of the past.  When I look at the ceiling now you’d never know that there was a hole there. 

I’m not sure what my living situation will be once I sell my place.  Of course I can certainly live at my parents place, gasp!, or my father’s investment home, but being super independent, I’m leaning more towards renting something temporarily or buying a smaller place that will sell easily when I need to.  I need to be easily mobile, so don’t know if I want to be burden again with a mortgage, but we’ll see.  I have a lot to decide in the next couple of months.

On a completely different note – my best guy’s father passed away recently.  And, that has put a lot of things in perspective for him.  We were talking about life and regrets and to never have any.  He’s realizing he wants to make some changes in his life.  Funny how death gives you moments of clarity.  Actually, it’s not funny, but it is interesting how that happens.  Sometimes we live life without much thought.  I think its good to be woken-up from the slumber, not that I think it’s a good thing his father passed away, but hopefully with his father’s passing he’ll live life with more passion, do the things he wants to do and not have regrets.  I worry about my best guy, for many reasons, so I’m really hoping he’ll come out of his grief a stronger person.

Anyways, looking forward to the weekend.  I’m having a girlfriends weekend, so it should be fun and relaxing.  It’s always good to have some bonding time with your girlfriends.

THAT MUCH CLOSER

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This dessert was one of my favourite parts of my visit to the CNE…almost a month ago!!!  Where did September go?  Its been a crazy month, I’ve been sick for the last of it.  And, not just with a cold.  I had another bout with food poisoning, or maybe it was the stomach flu, on Friday.  It was not pretty and I will not go into descriptive detail, to spare you all, but it was rough. 

The terrible thing about being so ill on Friday is that my friend had planned a belated surprise for my birthday that night.  I had an idea of what it was, a spa treatment, but wasn’t sure exactly what.  Anyways, I left work pretty much a  hour after I went in (half of that hour was spent in the bathroom), there was no way I could have made it through the day, and slept when I got home.  I wasn’t sure I would be able to make it to my friend’s surprise and I felt so bad because I knew she would be dinged for the appointment.  Thankfully, I felt better by the late afternoon and decided to go.  I was feeling pretty frail, I had not eaten all day, and didn’t realize how frail I looked until my friend pointed out how pale I was when she saw me.  She had never seen me like that before and I had never seen myself like that either.  But, I guess when you’ve emptied your stomach numerous times, it shows.  After a lovely facial though, I got my colour back.

Anyways, September was not as productive as I wanted it to be.  I’m not behind, but I’m not as ahead as I’d like to be in the goals I’ve set.  I have to repair this leak in my master bathroom.  Its been leaking for a while (I hate to confess how long cause then you’ll all know how lazy I am) from the suite above me (thankfully into my bathtub), but I just haven’t put in a maintenance request to get it fixed.  If I want to sell my place, I need to get it fixed.  Moving is a pain in the ass, but now that I’m finally that much closer to what I really want to do, it’s worth all the inconvenience.

If  l learned from anything that’s happened this year, doing and thinking are two very different things and I’d rather be inconvenienced and doing something than just thinking about it.

GETTING ON TRACK

I can’t believe how fast time has flown by.  The summer is almost over and fall weather will be setting in soon…hopefully not too soon even though I love the fall.

I know the summer is coming to a close when the CNE is on.  And, like last year I’ll be going again this year.  If it weren’t for my nephews, I don’t think I would be going at all.  But, I know I’ll have fun….eating my way around the Ex, buying useless things (hopefully not too many of them this year).  And, losing to all the games along the way.  My favourite game at the Ex is the Fishing Game where you have this fishing rod with a magnet at the end and you put it into the water attempting to gather as many chips as possible that will reveal the prize you get.  My other favourite game is hitting the gophers back into their hole…great way to take out your aggression, beating the crap out of gopher heads.  Ahhhh…good times.

The past few months have been a roller coaster for me.  I’m only now getting more focused on where I need to be.  My condo should be ready to be put on the market in a few months.  I still have some work I need to do, i.e. cleaning, and the garbage strike of 6 weeks was no help.  Moving is stressful, for me at least.  And, this time I refuse to be rushed – the last time I moved, across the country, it was not pretty.  And, I only had 2 months to get it together – meaning, sell my place, pack everything and move.  Its not something I want to repeat.

Anyways, I’m looking forward to the weekend and enjoying some time with my nephews.  Even though most of the summer has been crazy, I’m starting to feel more focused and determined.

WEDDING WEEKEND

WeddingRingMy friend’s wedding is this weekend.  I’m looking forward to it.  Its my first Italian wedding.  I was thinking about that this week, about 90% of the weddings I’ve gone to in my lifetime have been of the Chinese banquet variety.  I think I’ve only gone to three weddings that weren’t.  That was a bit shocking to me because my closest friends aren’t all Asian.

Anyways, I’m the chauffeur of choice to take my friend to the church.  So, I’m borrowing my mom’s car, which is a hell of a lot nicer than my own car.  I like my little clunker, but I don’t think she’s got much left in her.  Plus, my friend seemed a bit relieved when I said I’d use my mom’s car since she’s going away this weekend for a week in California.  I think the relief was partly cause my car’s not the greatest, but also because she wasn’t sure her whole dress would fit in my little car.  Too funny.  Her dress is gorgeous though and not at all too much.  Simple…exactly how weddings should be, in my opinion.

Speaking of dresses, hell, it was rough trying to find something to wear to this wedding.  I had an outfit for the wedding ceremony, but needed something for the evening.  I don’t like shopping, so that was the first hurdle to get through and then sorting through all the crappy things out there to find something decent was not an easy task.  And, there was a lot of crap out there.  I’m not super fussy about my clothes, I mean I’m super casual (maybe that’s the problem?) but seriously, everything I saw was yucky.  But, I finally found something (to my relief) late last week and picked it up a few days ago.  Its just a dressy top for the evening, I had to admit defeat and forget about wearing a one piece and just do the two piece.  I think I’ll be more comfortable anyways.  So, I’m set for the wedding and the reception.  I like wearing two different outfits, its the Asian wedding influence on me.

My friend is very happy and I’m very happy for her.  She found someone when she least expected to.  That’s the best part about it, when she didn’t think she’d find someone, there he was.

DIRECTIONALLY CHALLENGED

Late nights render me directionally challenged.

So, on Friday night I went out with my sister-in-law’s youngest and oldest sister (visiting from out of town).  We hit the Drake hotel, which has a lounge/restaurant on the ground level, a patio outside/upstairs and a little club down in the basement.  We tried to get into the patio, but that didn’t work after waiting for 45 minutes.  So, we went to the “Underground” in the basement where our names were on a list…I know, I felt really special.

The music was pumping.  I didn’t quite realize how pumping until I sat down about 8 feet from the speakers and my whole body started to shake from the bass.  I couldn’t hear myself think, and I had to shout when I talked. 

The music was great, we danced up a storm.  The DJ is a friend of the youngest sister, but it was just too loud and so we stayed for an hour and a half – we couldn’t take much more.  Once we left, we went down the street and stopped at a bar.  After the bar, we ended up at “Poutini’s House of Poutine” where we indulged in some, what else, poutine (for me, just fries and gravy hold the cheese) as our after 1am snack.

After eating we walked a bit and then we finally left for good.  I was pretty tired by then – haven’t had this much activity nor have I stayed up this late in a long time.  I’m used to quiet, chilled evenings with friends, this was not one of those nights.  Maybe this explains what happened next.

After dropping off one of the girls, I ended up..and I swear I drank only water….going the wrong direction on the Lakeshore trying to get onto the expressway.   That’s right – I went east on the westbound lanes.  A bit dangerous, but thankfully it was about 2am so there was no traffic (there was one car who graciously did not honk at me for being a dumbass)…otherwise I’m sure I’d be telling a different story.  I can only say in my defense that it was dark, it was late, I was tired, I only went a few meters east before realizing I was going the wrong way (I wasn’t that out of it) and I….was damn lucky there were no cops.

There is a reason why I don’t let myself out late at night. 😐

UNPLEASANT THINGS IN LIFE

Confronting the enemy is always unpleasant.  But, when you have to confront a child molester, it is the hardest thing I will ever do in my life.  Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.  It is the most unpleasant thing I’ll probably ever have to do in my life.

So, my friend’s bastard soon to be ex-husband is out of jail.  I wish he had rotted in there, but that’s not how the justice system works unfortunately.  In fact, I believe he got out for good behaviour…how fucking ironic.  And, now, he’s requested to see his two sons.  So, my friend told her boys and the oldest boy was hesitant, but I believe he is going because the youngest son wants to see his father.  Therefore, there needs to be someone there to supervise the visit and my friend has not been able to get her shit together to contact Children’s Aid and get them involved, which they should be.  That’s another bone of contention amongst all the friends, a lack of initiative by our friend to get things going and making sure she’s got herself covered.

My other friend asked me if I would do a shift of supervising for one of the visits and I said I would.  Then I suggested we should do a shift together, since she had agreed but as she doesn’t have a car and can’t drive up north she told our friend it would be as a last resort.  I figured if the two of us were together, at least one of us will be rational enough to stop the other from beating this bastard for destroying his family.  I am not a violent person, but this whole situation just makes my blood boil.  I just feel so….I can’t even begin to describe it.

I am not looking forward to supervising these visits, and I wish I didn’t have to see the asshole, but for the sake of the children, I’m doing it.  No other reason.  Such is life.  😐

FRESH AIR

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The weather was fabulous over the weekend.  My friend and I took advantage of this great weather and decided to go on a short hike followed by shaded downtime in the park with a book.  The ducks, as you see above, decided to join us as well.

Fresh air and a good walk always calms the nerves.  I’ve been trying to get my friend to do things for herself, activities that will relax her since she’s been so stressed out by all the crap going on right now in her family.  I’ve been really worried about her because she’s already had one meltdown in front of me and I certainly don’t want a repeat.  So, I’ve been advocating that she absolutely needs to take time out for herself.  I’m a firm believer that if you don’t take care of yourself then you’re no good to the people around you.

I’m guilty of it myself, taking on too much without thought to myself and how it’ll impact me.  Its been a long process, but I’m learning to say “no” and not feeling guilty about it.  There’s responsibility and then there’s living your life – blending the two are difficult, but finding the balance to them is important.  You do what you can do, but don’t kill yourself in the process.  I’m finding that balance, its hard to maintain, but I try my best and I know my friend will get there eventually.