Tag Archives: Friendship

THE GOOD, BAD AND UGLY

This weekend reminded me how catty women can be.  I try, very hard, not to get sucked into the vortex that is the cattiness.  The good, bad and ugly of friendship between women.  Especially when there is a friend who is getting married and they all think they know better than the bride.  I guess the fact that its her day doesn’t seem to matter to them.

The good: my friend is getting married
The bad: planning the wedding
The ugly: all the catty, backstabbing remarks

So, yesterday my friend and I went up to Barrie to meet with her cousin to look at bridesmaid dresses (I am not part of the wedding party thank god).  Apparently, last weekend when the bride went up to look for dresses for the whole wedding party, there was a meltdown by the bride.  My friend and her cousin thought it was ridiculous that she broke down considering she hasn’t really had to do a lot of planning for the wedding.  I was…well, surprised by their lack of sympathy for her.

Fast forward, we go to the only two wedding boutiques in Barrie and they settle on a dress.  But, pretty much the whole drive to these two places my friend and her cousin go on and on about how the bride is so narrow-minded, that some of the dresses that were picked the material was crappy, they didn’t know why she insisted on going to a bridal place for the flower girls dresses when she could have just gone to Winners.  It was mind-boggling how they just kept bitching about the bride.

Then on the way home my friend continued the bitching.  Its a miracle my head didn’t explode.  I get that my friend is still having a hard time adjusting to the fact that her closest friend is getting married.  I understand, but my patience is wearing thin.  I’m not sure that the next time she bitches to me about it I’ll be that receptive towards it.  Honestly, my friend is being way too hard on the bride and her opinions on the future husband.  I want to shake her and say “get over it and move on!”. 

Oy…my head hurts just wrapping my head around this drama.  Its too much for me.  Simplicity has always been my philosophy.  That’s why if I ever consider getting married…my future husband better be okay with eloping.

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FRIENDSHIP CHANGES

When a friendship changes dramatically, its hard.  Especially if you’ve depended on this person alot.

When I was 11 or 12, my best friend and I were super close, we called each other everyday.  This continued until about university.  Our friendship started to crumble and a few years after university and many attempts to keep the friendship going, we decided to just end it.  It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but the best thing at the time, too much had happened.  We stopped talking for over 5 years.  I’m happy to report, though, that we are friends again, not as close (it will never be the same), but at least we’re in each others lives.

So, my friend was unloading on me last night.  She’s having a hard time adjusting to my friends new relationship status.  Our friend has been dating this guy for 5 months and they got engaged after only 4 months.  So, all the friends haven’t even had time to get to know this guy.  I only met him for the first time this weekend!  Everything about this guy is the opposite of what I thought my friend would end up with, but I’m happy for her nonetheless cause what’s important is that this guy treats her well and she’s happy.

My friend sees it the same way but its been a huge change for her.  They did everything together (some people actually thought they were “together” if you know what I mean) and depended on each other heavily and now she has to share her.  So, she’s trying her hardest to get to know this guy and to adjust to the change in their friendship.  I feel for her because she’s never been very independent so this is a big adjustment for her.

For me, I learned from my past.  I value my friendships, but I try not to depend on my friends.  That’s not to say I can’t depend on my friends, I know that they’ll be there for me when I really need them.  But, being independent is important to me.  I’ve learned to do a lot on my own and that has made me stronger in the process.

My friend has learned a hard lesson.  She realizes that she needs to be more independent, give the new guy more of a chance and accept the fact that change happens, even if its a pain in the ass.  😐