I’m glad its a short week. Ever feel like you’re being pulled in 10 different directions? That’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. I only got two arms but they feel like they’re being pulled all over the place.
I value my own time. There are some people who can’t be alone or do things by themselves, I’m the opposite of that. I like being out with friends and doing stuff, but I also crave that time where its just me enjoying the day without distractions or company. I haven’t had that lately. The recent flurry of drama with my friends has kept me quite busy along with family stuff, but hopefully some of that will ease off soon.
So, recently, before bed, I try to have a few minutes of quiet time. Its only a few minutes just to relax me and allow me to release all the tension of the day. I’ve never been big on meditation (I don’t call this meditation but its my own take on it) because I have the attention span of a 2 year old, but am beginning to realize that I need to find a way to relax after a crazy day. Tai Chi has been a great activity to get me focused and energized, but I’m finding these quiet moments help me let go of the day, focus on chilling out and it’s actually helped me sleep better.
I’ve also taken up a musical instrument…the Ukulele. I know…laugh all you want, but its been a fun way to unwind. I am absolutely terrible at it, seriously terrible at it. I do plan on learning how to properly play it, but for now I’m having fun just strumming away. My sister-in-law got me hooked. I picked it up one day when I was visiting the kids and really liked it and my sister-in-law said I could take it home. So, every night I have a go at it and have been enjoying it…and laughing at my terrible playing. My hands are still getting use to it, so for now no concerts 😀 .
Life is a little crazy right now – hoping for it to die down soon. If not, I guess I better drag my friend to that meditation class and learn some techniques to relax!
Steveston Dyke Trail
Scattered musings of a tired mind:
So, I’ve been at the new job for 2 weeks now. I can’t believe I’ve been back from Vancouver for almost two weeks. Anyways, the job is good, the company is actually really great, which was a pleasant surprise. But, its still just a job, not a career. I got to say its been an adjustment losing all that free time. And then the stupid clocks went forward an hour this week, totally whacking me out. They say women have the worse time adjusting to the time change. I hate that they say that, but its been true for me.
Then to top it off, I’m fighting a cold which has left me with an annoying cough. Oh, woe is me….just kidding. There are worse things in life, I know. And, so, I’m totally looking forward to the weekend. My friend and I are taking our friend, the one with post-partum depression, to a spa for the day. Our early, early birthday present to her. We’re going to a spa about an hour northeast of Toronto. I’m looking forward to it, feel like some pampering is in order. I’m only getting a manicure, cause everything else at this spa is incredibly pricey, but it’ll be good, I’ve always like getting my hands massaged. I don’t care about the actual manicure, just the massage!
Recently, I’ve been trying to get focused on my goals. When I was off work I started compiling these lists of things I liked doing (to figure out what I was good at), and then lately I started to put together a list of things I want to do in the next 2 years. And, being the crazyass, unpredictable person I can be, I realized that I needed to organize all my thoughts of all the things I wanted to do to get me focused. I have a tendency to be a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants person, which works for me, but I’m also realizing that I’m giving myself not a lot of time to accomplish what I want to – so I must focus. Anyways, I’m trying to tick off a few of them for this year – learn Mandarin, try Hot Yoga, keep up with my Spanish, Treetop Trek are some things on the list. Of course I have a travel list of places I want to see and I definitely plan on ticking off one this year.
First though….need to get rid of this damn, freakin cold. I’m going to bed now.
I am always reminded of how important it is to live your life to the fullest. That’s one of the reasons why my goal for 2009 is to simplify my life. I already try to keep it as simple as possible, but I know I could simplify it further. Simplicity = more time to enjoy yourself and the people around you.
My friend was telling me yesterday about a co-worker of hers that lives in Edmonton, she had a crush on him before, and she just learned that he has stage 3 cancer. He’s barely 40 years old and he found out just before Christmas. How’s that for a present? My friend is worried and concerned, but optimistic, for her co-worker and so am I. The treatments that are out there for cancer are vast and I’m hopeful he’ll go into remission.
When I hear things like this, it makes me pause and think about my life. If I were to die tomorrow, would I die knowing I did all that I wanted to do? I don’t think so. And, to me that’s not good. I have places I want to see, people I have yet to meet, family and friends I want to grow old with and adventures I have yet to get started on.
Moments of clarity push you in the right direction, but a blast of reality puts you into action.
Toronto's Eaton Centre
I really don’t like shopping. Its just not my thing. I can’t even bring myself to go to the mall and finish my Christmas shopping. You’d think with all the time I have now that I’d be living in the mall, yeah, that won’t be me. And, considering I don’t have as much disposable income as before, I do need to keep myself away from the toothpaste sales going on..lol..kidding.
So, in my second week of freedom, I’ve decided to take a walk around my neighbourhood every afternoon. Well, every afternoon that I’m home that is. I’ve been pretty busy, busier than when I was working. It’s interesting how your time fills out so quickly when you have free time. Anyways, it’s freaking cold outside, but it’s nice to go for a walk. It’s actually refreshing. Although walking around a bunch of punk ass kids getting out of school isn’t my favourite, so I’m going to go in the earlier part of the afternoon, to avoid the kiddie crowd. Oh, I live like two minutes from my old high school, therefore the punk ass school kids.
Anyways, my first Christmas party is this weekend. I’m looking forward to it. I love seeing my best guy and he’ll make me laugh, something I’ve been sorely missing (well, my nephews make me laugh, but that’s a bit different). Laughter is a great release, therapeutic actually, and I love to laugh, whether it be at myself, or something crude or hilarious someone says to me. I am putty in your hands if you make me laugh out loud.
I’m already smiling just thinking about it.
I can’t believe that its already November. I got my first Christmas party invite. My best guy is having his annual party in a few weeks time. I’m looking forward to it. I haven’t seen the boy in ages. We’ve both been so busy. Him especially since he got a promotion. He offered me a job, but I turned him down. It wasn’t enough money and I wasn’t willing to commute downtown again for less cash. It would have been fun to work with him again, but it wasn’t meant to be this time around.
Speaking of jobs, work has been super tense lately. Over the past few weeks there have been a number of layoffs and reduction of hours for a number of employees. I feel bad, but I’m not worried about my job. Its not that I think I’m indispensable, I’m just not worried about it. My co-worker is pretty worried. He was telling me how badly the company is doing, which I knew already, but he knows it best because he’s the analyst. It will be interesting to see what happens in the next month.
I had a feel old moment today. One of the girls in marketing came over and we got into a conversation about the weekend. She mentioned she was going to a party at Queen’s university – she wanted to have fun and hook-up with some future doctors and lawyers, which Queen’s is filled with. I laughed and told her to pick me up one, then remembered that most of these guys were about 10 – 15 years younger than me. She was like “oh, come on its fine, I’ll find you a lawyer!!”. I laughed…of course we were just joking, but it made me feel old thinking how young this party crowd would be. I am certainly way past the partying age, I did my damage way back when, so for a few seconds I had my feeling old moment, but honestly I’m quite happy to be beyond all the body slamming, head banging, drinking, dancing till dawn and bad pick-up lines of my younger years.
And, honestly, who would want to see me head bang anyone, right? 😀
Work went from being insanely busy to…well, not so busy. I’m fiddling my thumbs a bit, and worrying that I must be missing something. I do have some things happening in November, but right now it’s far away enough that its not keeping me busy. Although when November hits, I’ll be insanely busy because the schedule for January and February is…well, in one word “crazyass”.
My friend and I were going to Treetop Trek this weekend. Unfortunately, the weather is not cooperating with us, which on the one hand gives me relief and on the other I’m a bit disappointed that I’ll have to wait till next year to do it. The treetop trekking goes out pretty much all year round, but I am not trekking no trees when its freaking cold. My friend’s schedule and my schedule kept conflicting that’s why it took us so long to pick a date to do it. My friend suggested we go hiking, but I reminded her its going to rain this weekend and thats the reason why we’re not trekking (not that rain is the biggest deterrant – but its colder up north so it may turn to snow) – sometimes I wonder about her – but I understand she wants to do something active this weekend. So, we’ll see.
The fall colours are fading fast. I’m a bit sad that they didn’t stay for too long. But, its been getting cold quick. Like the other day it was snowing here! It was wet snow and it didn’t stick, but hell, its only October what the hell is snow doing in Toronto at this time? Anyways, since I’m going up north possibly this weekend, hopefully there are still fall colours to be seen. I’ll have to bring my camera and take some pictures.
This really is a random thought kinda post today. Its been that kind of week. As usual, can’t wait for the weekend to get here already. 😉
I’ve been thinking about my friend and how she’s doing. Its been on my mind. I’ve been wanting to call her, but….well, my other friend told me to give her some space. I keep thinking how I’d like to drop kick her husband right where it hurts if I ever saw him again. I’m not a violent person, but the thought of causing him great pain just seems right. I know, I know, violence will not get me anywhere.
Work has been busy lately. I’ve been feeling very disorganized – but not because I’m disorganized (I’m not), mostly because the company is disorganized. Many, many people have told me its not me, its the company. I’m not stressed by it, but I need to wrap my head around how I can make it work for me. And, I’m still new, although I’m starting to understand the whole business, slowly, but I’m getting there. I have another business trip coming up after Labour Day weekend. It should be fun and I’ll accumulate two more lieu days that I can use for vacation. Business travel isn’t glamorous, but its a nice break from the daily grind of going into work. And, I’m definitely going to pack efficiently this time. I refuse to carry around tons of stuff.
So, I’ve set myself a goal of reducing everything I own by 50%. I finished clean sweeping the condo, it looks awesome, clutter-free. My spare bedroom has never looked so good – the whole condo looks great. But, I still have a bit of work ahead of me because all I did was garbage the obvious stuff, but now I need to really go through it one more time and determine what I want to donate and that includes my clothes as well. Its a daunting task, but I plan to be done by the end of this month. I want to be able to give away half of my things.
I’m looking forward to the weekend, going to the EX, Canadian National Exhibition. It starts today. It’ll be a family outing, so the nephews will be there. It’ll be fun but a bit exhausting I figure. And, I’m only working a half day today so I get to play in the afternoon, how great is that to start the weekend? 😉