Tag Archives: Rant

MOVING

I finally sold my condo!  Actually, its been sold for over a month now, but the whole process of getting it ready, cleaning my place, has not only been time-consuming, but tiring.  I remember now why I loathe moving so passionately, its exhaustive and draining.  After a lot of thinking, I decided not to rent, but to buy again.  It’s a bit of a kink in my plans, but it felt like the right thing to do.  Renting just didn’t seem right.

I have no idea right now where I’m moving to.  That’s been an interesting experience.  Unlike the States, the market is hot right now in Toronto so the pickings are slim.  I had put in an offer on a new place, meaning it hasn’t been registered with the city, but its built and getting occupied.  That turned into a bit of a fiasco if I don’t say so myself.  So, I’m putting in an offer on another place (at the same new building cause I haven’t completely learned my lesson) this week that will hopefully go a hell of a lot smoother than the last offer I put in.

My real estate agent is a pretty good guy, a little slow for my liking, but a good guy.  He’s a referral from a co-worker and so far he’s saved my ass….on the first offer I made that turned into a mess.  I have looked at about 30 – 40 places so far, maybe more I’ve lost count over the past two months.  Some of the places I’ve seen are spotless and then there were some I saw that were completely disgusting.  Only a handful have wowed me enough to consider putting in an offer.  And, even then, I have only put in one offer.

I haven’t even consulted movers yet because I’m not sure when I’m moving and where to.  Hopefully I’ll have that figured out this week because I’m starting to get antsy thinking I may have to stay with my parents for the interim.  That…would…not….be…..good.

Anyways, my life is consumed with this move and until I get it done and over with, I really can’t move forward.  And, I really need to move forward.  So, here’s to me starting fresh….somewhere…..soon.

UNPLEASANT THINGS IN LIFE

Confronting the enemy is always unpleasant.  But, when you have to confront a child molester, it is the hardest thing I will ever do in my life.  Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.  It is the most unpleasant thing I’ll probably ever have to do in my life.

So, my friend’s bastard soon to be ex-husband is out of jail.  I wish he had rotted in there, but that’s not how the justice system works unfortunately.  In fact, I believe he got out for good behaviour…how fucking ironic.  And, now, he’s requested to see his two sons.  So, my friend told her boys and the oldest boy was hesitant, but I believe he is going because the youngest son wants to see his father.  Therefore, there needs to be someone there to supervise the visit and my friend has not been able to get her shit together to contact Children’s Aid and get them involved, which they should be.  That’s another bone of contention amongst all the friends, a lack of initiative by our friend to get things going and making sure she’s got herself covered.

My other friend asked me if I would do a shift of supervising for one of the visits and I said I would.  Then I suggested we should do a shift together, since she had agreed but as she doesn’t have a car and can’t drive up north she told our friend it would be as a last resort.  I figured if the two of us were together, at least one of us will be rational enough to stop the other from beating this bastard for destroying his family.  I am not a violent person, but this whole situation just makes my blood boil.  I just feel so….I can’t even begin to describe it.

I am not looking forward to supervising these visits, and I wish I didn’t have to see the asshole, but for the sake of the children, I’m doing it.  No other reason.  Such is life.  😐

INTOLERANCE

I’ve been at my new job for almost two months.  Its been the busiest two months of my life.  I have been in jobs where its busy, but nothing that I’m experiencing right now.  And, its good.  I quit one of my jobs because it was so damn boring and my brain was slowly losing its intelligence.  Anyways, now that I’m settling in a bit more I’m noticing the random characters around the workplace, in particular my boss.

She’s a nice enough person (before she starts the day), but she has got a mean streak that I’m just starting to really see.  She’s very dramatic, loud (she sings in the office), takes everything personally, complains a lot and generally a little kooky.  I don’t take offense to her craziness, but the one thing I don’t like is her intolerance for people she thinks aren’t going about things the way she thinks they should.  And let me tell you I’ve been witness to a few very inappropriate comments by her already because of her lack of patience with people.  A recent incident that involved me made it clear to me that its important I don’t involve her too much in what I do.  Otherwise, a situation I am clearly handling gets fucked up complicated (when it shouldn’t be) because she’s taken it too far.  And, I’m not the only one she’s done it to in our group.

I take it all in stride, but its not easy.  I try to ignore her when she goes completely nuts.  Her loud singing, I kid you not, can be annoying and long winded, but so far I haven’t had to resort to drowning her out by plugging in the iPod.  I believe she sings to relieve stress, it just hurts my ears.

Intolerance and impatience with other people, when its not warranted, highly irritate me because it shows a lack of respect.  I can deal with her bitching (and it can be constant), but her intolerance, that’s another thing and it’ll be harder for me to keep my cool about that.  Its not unpleasant to go to work, because I enjoy my job, its a good company, and I’m certainly not going to let it bother me unless it becomes completely inappropriate, but I need to tread carefully. 

I’m counting down the days, months, weeks, hours, seconds when I can kick this full time gig to the curb.

WHAT TO DO?

My nature is to dive into a situation and then just work my way through it.  I rarely shy away from a challenge – it keeps me on my toes since I bore easily.  Of course there are consequences of this type of rash behaviour.  Its always in the back of my mind that I’m going to pay for it, but a majority of the time I just don’t give a shit.  I always have the philosophy that things will work itself out.

My friend emailed me about a month ago to ask me if I wanted to go on vacation with her next year, that’s right, next year.  Hell, I’m still working on this year.  I reluctantly agreed, I actually wanted to say “no” but just didn’t have the heart to (my first mistake), but told her that a resort vacation was out of the question.  Lounging by the pool for a week or two is not my idea of a vacation anymore.

If there is one big thing that has changed since I came back from my work in the Dominican is my view on travel and the goals I want to accomplish in the next two years.  That trip changed me and gave me some clarity.  So, I’m regretting agreeing to this shared vacation.  What to do, what to do…

Its not going to kill me to go on vacation with her – my friend is great. Traveling with someone is nice just for the companionship.  But, I’ve also come to like traveling by myself.  Or at least traveling with someone who is like-minded.  I’m very independent, my friend is not.  I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but what I am saying is that I’ll probably want to do a lot of things on my own and she won’t do her own thing.  I could be wrong, but I’ve done enough vacations with her to know how she travels.

I can go anywhere by myself.  Its just that simple for me.  My friend, on the other hand, doesn’t like traveling on her own.  So, its my own fault for not answering honestly in the first place.  I will think of a way to make this work.  This is an example of how its not good to be impulsive.  😐

STEREOTYPES

My cousin immigrated to Canada from Hong Kong about 10 – 12 years ago.  Him and his wife were police officers in Hong Kong.  I saw them last week and I was left with a feeling that I wasn’t “Chinese” enough – for them at least, I think I’m doing alright.  “Juk Sing”, that’s what they call me – born and raised in the Western world.  My cousin has these preconceived stereotypes about people such as myself, and when I say “people such as myself” I mean me being a “Juk Sing”.  My cousin is a great guy, but just a little too traditional and discriminating for me.  Here is just a few of the things him and his wife thought:

  1. He was surprised to learn that I understood and could speak Cantonese as well as I did (I’m no expert, but I can hold my own, I just need to conquer Mandarin!)
  2. He didn’t think I liked eating Chinese food….um, I freakin live on the stuff.  I love Asian food, not just Chinese.
  3. Him and his wife didn’t quite understand how I could live on my own, away from my parents.
  4. His wife thought I should go home for dinner every night (in Hong Kong, family members gather for dinner every night – even if you don’t live together, you eat together)
  5. His wife was then surprised to learn that I cooked, she thought I just did take-out.  And, even more surprise to learn that I enjoy cooking and I cook rice too.  My cousin instantly thought I cooked pasta cause you know that’s what Juk Sing’s like…right.

I could go on and on with the list, but it was very entertaining to me these stereotypes they had.  Based on what, I wasn’t exactly sure.  I’m not your typical Canadian born Chinese person.  I live on rice, I eat all sorts of Asian food, and actually, I’m not a huge fan of Western food, I like it, but if there was a bowl of rice, pho, Malaysian curry or chow fun in front of me, I’d pick those any day over a burger, fries and spaghetti with meatballs.

When people stereotype, it irritates me.  But, I can forgive my cousin, because he grew-up in a totally different environment than me.  Seriously though, me not eat rice?  Its like me not breathing……I’d die.

THE JOB HUNT

The Job Hunt – one of my least favourite things to do.  I’ve been at it for almost 2 months, more aggressively since the new year and for awhile there it seemed so futile.  It was a bit disheartening, but I kept going at it.

Finally, its paying off and the past couple of days I’ve been getting requests for interviews.  Now, the challenge is keeping track of all the jobs I’ve applied for and not to mix them up.  I’ve been pretty good at keeping the job descriptions and emails I’ve been sending and making sure not to forget to keep them.  And, as I keep building the number of positions I apply for, the challenge is to keep it organized.  My goal is to apply for a job a day or more so I’m going to be accumulating many job descriptions before I actually land a job offer.

My other least favourite thing?  Researching these companies once I get the interview and retaining what I learn about them.  This is my weak point, regurgitating what I remember about what these companies do.  Most of the time I make shit up and the employer can tell, but I’m determined I will get better!!! (at least I hope so?!).

Anyways, I have an interview today and a couple next week.  I’m trying not to get too worked up over these interviews.  I’m not comfortable “selling” myself.  I’d rather gouge my eyes out sometimes then go through these interviews.  It really is that painful to me at times.  But, I know its a necessary evil and I do it.

I’m trying not to tell anyone about these interviews, the less they know the better.  I won’t get bombarded with questions about how it went or have someone coach me on how to do the interview.  It just makes me more nervous.

A 9-5 is not exactly my dream situation, but in order for me to get to where I want to be, I need to do this for now.  Not forever, just a little longer before freedom reigns…LOL.

I guess I better put on that power suit and get ready.  Wish me luck!

CHILDREN’S CONCERT

My nephew had his first Christmas concert at school this week.  He’s growing up so fast, it makes me sad sometimes because I want him to be little forever.  I know, its crazy selfishness, but I can’t help it.  And then I’m reminded that my youngest nephew will be part of this concert next Christmas. 

The chaos you see in the photo below does not even begin to describe how crazy it became in the auditorium.  I enjoyed every moment of it, don’t get me wrong.  The performances were fabulous, but, damn, parents can get vicious when their view is blocked.  Note to self: always remember to not stand up in your excitement to take a picture of your nephew.  You may lose your life. 

chaos