Tag Archives: Sexual Abuse

SCARS

I have a fresh one inch scar on my arm.  I was ironing on Friday morning, rushing to get to work, and singed myself when I briefly, and it was very brief, touched the side of the iron with my forearm.  Wow wee that hurt like hell.  And, then next thing you know I see the red dash which has now morphed into a brownish line – it hasn’t quite scabbed yet.  Another war wound.

Superficial scars don’t bother me – well, unless they’re on my face.  But, it got me, weirdly enough, thinking about my friend’s daughter.  I was talking to my friend (who is her best friend) over the weekend and we have decided to take the daughter to Buffalo at the end of September.  It’s going to be our treat to her.  We’re going to give her some spending cash, and pay for everything that day.  Just to take her mind off all the shit that’s going on.  And, just to spoil her.

Our mutual friend, who’s living with her sister now, wants a day out too – not to Buffalo, just a day away from her sister’s house.  So, my friend was telling me that they are visiting her next weekend, which I can’t do.  I’ll be in Vegas.  And, that sucks, cause I really wanted to see her.       

I’ve been worried about her daughter.  Its been weighing on my mind since I found out.  She hasn’t started therapy sessions yet, but has met with a social worker, which left her upset.  My friends and I have all agreed to pay for her therapy if it isn’t covered, but her therapy sessions have yet to be set-up.  Our friend is having a hard time, and its mainly because she depended on her bastard husband so much.  This is the first time she’s had to be completely independent.  But, she’s slowly getting there, its a lot to handle in such a short period of time – your daughter’s been abused, your husband is the culprit, your marriage breaks down and your family life is nomadic right now.

My superficial scar may fade, but at least its a scar that won’t remind me of a horrible, terrible, horrendous period in my childhood.  I’d suffer a thousand scars if I could take away what happened to this beautiful, once innocent child.

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STARTLING REVELATIONS

Innocence

Innocence

I had a good childhood.  As in all families, we had our highs and lows.  But, I still feel that I’ve been lucky in everything that I’ve had.  I count my blessings that my parents always made me feel safe and protected no matter what.  They loved me, provided for me and never made me feel like I couldn’t go to them for anything.  I will always be grateful for that. 

My friend called me late last Friday afternoon to inform me that our mutual friend’s husband had been charged with sexual assault on his young teen daughter.  I’ve known this child since she was born.  I’ve seen her grow up to the girl she is today and it sickens me what’s happened.  It’s heart breaking.

What makes this whole situation worse (if that’s possible) is that our mutual friend’s sister’s husband was also jailed for sexually assaulting his young daughter 9 years ago.  What are the odds?  Both sister’s married men who turned out to be sexual predators, molesters.

When you hear about something like this, especially when its someone you know well, you start to think back.  You start to wonder if there was something you could have done to have prevented it.  All my friends never liked her husband, me included.  In fact, we all felt that some of the things he did to us were inappropriate.  But, it was never so inappropriate that we would ever think he would do something so horrendous to his own child.  We never thought he’d go over the boundaries. 

I hate feeling this way.  Racking my brain thinking back to all these situations.  Thinking we could have done something.  But, the truth is, there’s probably nothing we could have done.  We weren’t around the kids all the time, they lived in another city about an hour away and honestly, how could we have foreseen it? 

At least the daughter was strong enough to say something to her mother and report her father before it escalated further.  He was getting more and more bold, so thankfully he never got the opportunity to do any further harm.  The damage is done, but at least he can’t do any further damage now.

This has really thrown me for a loop – I can’t stop thinking about it.  But, its not about me, right now it’s about supporting my friend and the kids in whatever they need.  My friends and I have decided we’ll do whatever it takes to help out – financially, emotionally, whatever they need. 

Why couldn’t he have just cheated on my friend with another women, why your own daughter?  She was innocent, she trusted her dad and now that’s irrevocably broken.  Sick, dirty, fucking bastard (and that’s putting it very mildly).